A blow job guide 2
What surprised me most were the comments I got from both
men and women requesting and encouraging me to write a follow
up piece about how to give a blowjob. Women wanted it so they
could compare their technique or perhaps learn something
new without having to bother their neighbor's husband.
Men wanted it so they could hand it to their lady and avoid
the discomfort of saying, "While you're down
there, honey, I'd like to give you some instructions
on how to do it better." Ouch I can nearly feel the
teeth marks.
Well OK, you know me, I'm more than happy to help. There's
nobody that likes to be on the receiving end of a good BJ more
than me. In fact, I bring my cock with me wherever I go for
just such an occurrence.
Writing an article about how to go down on a woman, that was
like a fish writing about how to swim. It's just something
I truly love. But writing an article about how to give head
to a man, oh boy. I can see the feedback now. "Hey gay
blade, why don't you stick to pussy and leave blowjobs
for the chicks to write about." Or, "Hi, I'm
Johnny from Hoboken. I loved your piece. Call me at 637-9648."
My friends, they'll never let it go.
Well, let me first say that I'm not gay. Although as
Jerry Seinfeld put it, "not that there's anything
wrong with that."
If my first article helped a few inexperienced guys please
their women, I feel great about that. And if this piece helps
a few more girls feel comfortable and confident and gives
their guy greater satisfaction, I'll take the heat.
That's what writing is about.
Ah, how fondly I remember my first blowjobs. Typically,
the eager girl would put her lips over the head of my cock
and frantically rub my shaft until I either came or developed
a friction rash. Then just when I was excited enough to cum
from all this attention, usually about two minutes, she'd
pull my cock off her lips, so that she wouldn't taste
any of the nasty sperm that shot out and made lovely patterns
on my clothes. "What's that on my jeans, mom?
Glue!"
Only years later did I discover that this was not in fact
a blow job, it was being jerked off with a little tongue action.
Sort of what I could do by myself, only a tad wetter.
What a disappointment. And yet, how could you blame her?
It's not something that was taught in school, nor were
the other girls any help they didn't have anyone to
teach them either. In most households, this was not discussed
at the dinner table. "Sweetheart, pass the salt,
and lick my balls a little more tonight will you? How was
school today kids?" So here you had all these marginally
satisfied guys running around wondering what was so great
about blowjobs. I was one of them.
With the advent of video tape technology, we got to see a
lot more blowjobs than we ever saw in the basement on the
old 8mm projector. And there was sound! Moaning and groaning.
At last, we got to see beautiful women sucking a cock so large
that it belonged in the Jurassic age, using both hands and
barely covering half of it, until the guy finally came a
quart all over her face and tits. And you think we felt bad
before? We went to our rooms and cried about how much nature
had cheated us, and startled that a girl could take suck
a large cock so far down her throat. No wonder they moaned.
Now with DVDs, we can see the same thing, only clearer. You
haven't lived until you've seen a blowjob on DVD,
watched on a large screen television. It looks like an episode
out of "Don't Try This At Home." A huge face
swallowing a python. It was intimidating to women and humiliating
to men.
Now for the good news. You are about to read a do and don't
article that will suggest how a woman can dramatically
improve her BJ skills, if indeed they need improving. Some
women out there love to suck a cock s much we love to lick pussies,
and need no improvement at all none. They live for it. They
love the feel, the taste, the sight. They moan with pleasure
when they suck. They slobber all over you. They rub a cock
on their face like it's a wrinkle remover. To those
women I say, "Come to papa!" But in any event,
you still may learn just one thing that will improve your
performance, or clarify that you are as good as you thought.
If so, it's worth reading and you may have some fun.
Read it at a party, that ought to spice things up!
Anatomy-wise, the penis is relatively uncomplicated.
There's the head, shaft and balls. Hasn't changed
much since the cave man. But let's get a little more
technical. The entire head of the penis is called the glans.
The crown itself, the ridge of flesh separating the glans
and the shaft is called the corona. The meatus is the opening
at the tip of the penis where urine and semen emit. And the
frenulum is the underside of the corona where the circle
of the corona comes together, and where the shaft connects
to the corona, that 'V' shape. The scrotum is of
course the sac that hangs below the penis and holds the testes.
Under that is the perineum, or 'taint' area, leading
to the anus. If you need photos, there are many, many websites
that have them, if they're even needed. Got all that?
They don't teach all this in health class as a way of
improving your blowjobs do they? Hmmmaybe they should.
I wrote this information not to bore you, but because I don't
want to describe it over and over in the rest of the article.
As I've said before, I'm not a doctor. Yet, I've
been to the doctor many times, never discussed blowjobs.
He did stick his finger up my ass with a glove on though. And
that was in the waiting room. So we made a deal, I won't
practice medicine and he won't write about how to give
a blowjob. Sounds like a better deal for me.
Now, here's the fun part, the do's and don'ts
of giving a spectacular blowjob. These can put you in the
BJ Hall of Fame. Where is it located you ask? In my display
case next to the baseball trophies? It will have to remain
a secret for now kids, but it's not in Canton, Ohio.
OK, you're kissing, you're rubbing, you've
kissed your way down his neck and chest. You've lifted
his shirt and kissed down his stomach, and you're unbuckling
his belt. What now?
Watch any adult movie and what's the one thing they
always do beautifully? They look into the lucky guy's
eyes when they give him head, when it's physically
possible. Why? It shows the connection they have with him.
They're not just sucking a cock, they're sucking
his cock, and they want to taste his cock. So start this practice
early. When you're pulling off your fella's pants,
begin looking in his eyes. An approving moan (would a gasp
hurt?) or two when his cock springs free lets him know you're
eager to please him and like what you see.
Don't pump his penis like you're milking a cow.
Gently (at least at first) rub his cock with your hands,
making it as hard as possible. If you've gotten this
far and he's not as hard as a rock yet, please come see
me as soon as possible. Wait did I write that? I mean, keep
going. And don't just rub the top half of his cock, rub
the entire cock, including in particular the glans and
balls. The frenulum is incredibly sensitive and will send
shivers through him but I'll get back to that aspect.
In the meantime, rub him all over, and don't forget
his perineum and even his anus, lightly at this point. Again,
I'll get back to that once the heat is on.
Remember, the shaft of the penis doesn't have a heck
of a lot of nerve endings. Its primary use, BJ wise, it to
connect the sensitive head with the sensitive balls. The
head of his cock and balls are where all the action takes
place, so don't spend too much time giving him the shaft.
The more time you spend with your tongue and lips on his head
and balls, the better head you'll be giving. Why do
you think they call it head??
Do talk to him. Tell him how much you love him, how much you
want him, how much you want to suck his cock and how good you're
going to make him feel. Now, I know this may be a bit uncomfortable
for those uninitiated in the ways of dirty talk (hmmanother
article in the making). But girls, I can't begin to
tell you how arousing it is for us to know how excited you
are and how much you enjoy what you're doing. Books
have been written on just this subject. If you feel funny
about it, and there's no reason you should, whether
you've known the guy a week or have been married for
25 years, just start slow.
Perhaps "I've been looking forward to this, "
or "I can't wait to taste you, " would get
the ball rolling. Then simply go with the flow. Sure, if
you want to say, "God I love this cockI'm going
to suck your cock like it's never been sucked beforesuck
the cum right out of youmake you feel like you've died
and gone to heavenwould you like that, baby? Would you
like me to suck your cock hard and long until you squirt into
my mouth? Because that's what I'd love to do"
I guess that would be all right. But again, even if it's
just an approving moan now and then. Anything is better
than stone silence, where it seems like you're doing
a chore.
The wetter the better, so don't skimp on the saliva.
In other words, slobber all over his cock! If nothing else,
all the licking it takes to do this is putting him in, let's
say, a good mood. A jewelry good mood? Who knows. Certainly
a dinner out good mood. More important, when you're
pumping his lubricated rod with your hand, which is not
such a bad idea, the saliva reduces the friction. So lick
up and down his shaft with maximum drooling. Friction=bad,
Wet=good. Comprende?
Do swirl your tongue around the head of his cock. It's
the most sensitive area and responds well to this loving
attention. Now here's a little secret that many people
don't know and that I alluded to earlier. The frenulum,
that little V shape under his cock head, is mucho sensitive.
If you use your tongue to play with it, you'll be doing
your good deed for the day. Likewise his meatus. Flick your
tongue along the tip of his penis to get this area. The head
of his penis is like your clit. Suck on it, swirl your tongue
around it, bob your head up and down with your lips over his
head, lick all the areas I just mentioned and you'll
have him gasping for air. Another winner: while you're
sucking and licking his cock head, circle your fingers
in an 'OK' motion around just the base of his cock.
Then, clamping tightly, 'jerk him off' in a mini
motion of no more than an inch or so. It won't make him
cum, but it's exquisite.
Don't stay in one spot doing just one thing. It becomes
monotonous for both of you and begins to decay the pleasure
after a while. When a guy goes down on you properly, he's
kissing and licking all over, not just concentrating on
one spot. Same thing with good head. Suck the top, lick the
shaft, lick his balls, keep changing the pattern. Except
when he's just about to cum. When you're got him
this deep into the pleasure zone, and you can tell from his
words or his breathing that ejaculation is close at hand,
now is not the time to move away from what you're doing.
Just keep it up until he cums.
Do lick and suck on his balls. Those two babies are his pleasure
zones, shooting sparks inside his head. If you haven't
been doing this, you've been unknowingly denying
him a real source of pleasure. Go easy down there, needless
to say, it's not the place to play handball. But licking
and sucking on his balls, while your hands continue to caress
his shaft it just doesn't get much better than that.
Don't overlook his perineum and anus. This requires
some explanation. If you think that a guy who likes his anus
played with or even penetrated is gay or would like to be,
you are dead wrong. A man's anus and surrounding areas
are rich with nerve endings. Perhaps, it has been speculated,
even more so than a woman's, and nobody faults her for
enjoying anal sex hell no. When you are licking his balls,
if you go down a little further, licking his perineum which
is, I'm testing you here, the 'taint' area
between his balls and anus, you'll be rewarded with
lots of moans, groans and heavy breathing. It just feels
amazing.
Now, and here's the dicey part. If you insert a well-lubricated
finger, preferably a pinkie, just a little bit into his
anus just as he's about to cum watch out. He may cum
like a fire hose from you massaging his prostate this way.
Now this is not something I would surprise him with, in case
he feels funny about it. But he won't feel funny if you
don't! Tell him you know it feels good and that's
what you're trying to do. Let him know you feel comfortable
about it, that there's nothing the two of you should
deny yourselves sexually, and he should be just fine. Which,
by the way, brings me to another point for men only: Guys,
please, give the lady some courtesy something to be attracted
to. If you've had a long, hot day at work, or a great,
sweaty workout at the gym, take a hot shower. Scrub the day's
crud off your body before you ask her to swallow it, OK? Get
clean, look good, smell good, and you're fighting
a winning battle. If you want to do her a real favor, take
a scissors and trim off some of the stray hairs around your
cock and balls, carefully. I'm not saying shave the
area, although it can be a hell of a lot of fun actually.
I'm just suggesting that you can save her a lot of time
picking stray hairs out of her teeth or coughing them out
of her throat if you remove some first. While you at it, if
you'd care to be a gentleman, treat her nicely and with
appreciation well, that's another matter. Do it
anyway though.
Do give him head in different positions, not just with him
lying on his back. Give him head on your knees while he's
standing, even if it's at the kitchen sink but not
while he's carving the turkey. Sit him down in a chair
and snuggle your face between his knees. Suck his cock in
the shower. Blow him while he's working at his desk.
Surprise him at work while he's giving a presentation
to a large group at the Church andstrike that. My point
is that variety here, as with most every other aspect of
sex, is the thing that keeps if from becoming routine, so
get creative.
Don't be afraid of cum. Sounds strange, I agree, on
paper. But in real life, I've had girls nearly run out
of the room, as though acid was spewing through my cock.
This isn't 'Alien.' They ask themselves,
should they watch it erupt like a geyser and keep pumping
the guy's cock? Should they stop everything they're
doing and watch the poor guy deflate like a balloon? Should
they keep sucking and swallow all the creamy liquid? Will
this get them pregnant? I'm not kidding, there have
been some bizarre responses and actions regarding this,
the most natural of culminations.
Look, if you've been doing this right, the guy's
going to cum. And you know just about when, too, based on
his breathing, his hips thrusting his cock into your face.
Congratulations, you've done a nice thing! He's
going to feel just great you may get flowers. So don't
blow it at the end. Can you imagine how you'd feel if
the guy gave up licking your pussy just when you began to
orgasm? You'd be within your rights to kick him in the
nose! Therefore, here are your options:
Don't miss a beat, just keep sucking and swallow his
ejaculate. Whether or not you like the taste, it won't
harm you in any way.
Again, keep doing what you're doing, take it in your
mouth no-one will blame you if it seeps out of the corners
and wipe in into a tissue.
Pull your mouth off if you absolutely must when he starts
cumming and keep jerking him off until he asks you to stop.
Disappointing, but better than you stopping just at the
moment of truth.
Two things I'd like to mention here about adult movies
again. If you like the idea of a guy coming all over your face
and hey, it's OK with me then do it. It doesn't
make the BJ feel any better though. Second, although it's
fun to watch the sword swallowing antics of pornstar gals
who can take an eight inch cock as thick as a can of tennis
balls to the root, in real life most women can't even
take six inches down. And the truth is, it feels as good or
better to have your cock sucked and licked top to bottom,
or have the head caressed, then to be swallowed like a salami.
However, to each his own.
OK, you've built up to the BJ with loving attention,
unless it's just a quick 'hummer' and that's
OK, too. You've looked into his eyes, so he knows you're
in the moment. You've slobbered all over his cock,
getting it good and wet, maybe even rubbed it all over your
face to show him it's one of your favorite body parts.
You've shown loving attention to all areas, including
the head, shaft, balls, etc. You talked to him, or at least
hummed a happy tune to display your fondness for what you're
doing. You've held his balls gently in his hand while
you licked the sensitive underside of his cock head, making
him squirm and moan. And you've kept up your end of the
bargain until he rewarded you with showers of creamy goodness.
Now what?
Now let's warm up the car for that ride to the jewelry
store. You've just performed the most intimate of
acts, and given your man great joy. You've turned up
the heat and joined the ranks of those lovers who know what
they're doing, as opposed to the button down, straight
lacesd masses who don't read this website and have
no idea of what they're doing or how to please a man and
probably never will.
You've done well.
Now, the last thing you have to do is send me feedback. If
you liked the article, please tell me, I love to hear from
you. If you feel I missed something, or you'd like to
clue me in on a twist of your own, I'm game.
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