Virtual Man
What is a virtual man, you ask?
Think of that man you met five years ago. You bumped into
him everywhere you went...the bank, the supermarket,
even at the library. He always seemed so nice. He was drop
dead gorgeous and you had pretty good conversations. In
the mornings you would see him when you were on your way to
work, and he looked real sharp in his business suit, carrying
a briefcase and his newspaper. Every once in a while he would
buy your morning cup of coffee, and you thought to yourself,
'Wow, that's really sweet!'
This went on for months and months, in which time you learned
that he was a couple of years older than you, had never been
married, had no children and he was a successful investment
banker.
As Christmas time approached, you bought him a card, and
on Christmas Eve he surprised you with a bouquet of roses
and asked you out for drinks after work. 'This is great!'
you thought. 'I wasn't looking, and he fell right
in my lap.' 'He must be THE ONE, after all, he seems
just perfect for me.'
So you decide to go and have drinks with him. You met him at
a restaurant/bar near your job, and for the whole evening
he treated you like a queen. He even bought you champagne.
You talked and laughed for hours, and it seemed like you
had known each other forever, even though it had only been
about nine months and this was your first date. When the
evening came to an end, he called for a car, escorted you
right to your door, kissed your hand and told you that he
had a wonderful time and hoped you could do it again real
soon.
For the next month or so, you two were inseparable, and then
he decided (without your input) that it was time to get intimate.
I bet you never guessed the kind of things he was into. You
never expected him to be so rude, and so you told him, "No
means NO!" What a surprise the next morning, when
he looked right through you, as if you weren't even
there, and you thought to yourself, 'No wonder he doesn't
have a woman!'
So back to that question, what is a virtual man? A virtual
man is just like that guy you met five years ago, except he
knows that he can't get a woman the conventional way,
so he goes online. A virtual man isvirtually stupid!
2002
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