Bill Gates And Heaven & Hell
Bill Gates Goes to Heaven
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory,
being sized up by St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call;
I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After
all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer
in almost every home in America, yet you also created that
ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something
I've never done before in your case; I'm going
to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "well, what's the difference
between the two?"
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit
both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then, " said Bill, "Let's
try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach
with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running
around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking
about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He
was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If
this is hell, I really want to see heaven!"
"Fine, " said St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting
about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as
enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell, " he told
St. Peter.
"Fine, " retorted St. Peter, "as you
desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire
to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found
Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames
in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and
disappointment, "this is awful! This is nothing
like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe
this is happening! What happened to that other place, with
the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing
in the water?!???
"That was a demo, " replied St. Peter
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