Safe Meeting Places and Successful First Dates
Since I have always taken my time before meeting anyone,
usually emailing for a few months to get to know each other
and then having a few phone calls just to get comfortable.
I pretty much feel I know who I'm meeting.
Still I don't know what the chemistry will be until
we meet face to face and so I always arrange to drive myself
to some neutral place for a meeting. I have met someone in
his place of work (a law office), at a ski lodge, at a nice
restaurant for dinner, for an afternoon lunch date, and
for a drink on the riverside deck of a sports bar. On each
of these occasions, I've been conscious of the possibility
that there might not be sexual chemistry even though we've
become close friends.
The lack of chemistry could be only on my side or only on his
side or it could be mutual. To avoid any sort of awkwardness
if I don't feel the chemistry is there, I do not make
any firm plans to go anywhere with my date in his car that
very day. It's a lot kinder to let someone know if you're
not interested as soon as you know. Having the ability to
get myself home helps me to feel I'm never in danger
of being stuck in an uncomfortable situation.
Out of the five meetings which were based on months of email
or chat contacts, four of them resulted in the sort of chemistry
we'd both been hoping would be there. You can bet I was
ready and willing to allow our chemistry to dictate my behavior.
I wasn't on a first date with someone who was a total
stranger, I was finally meeting someone I'd already
considered a great friend and potential lover.
None of these relationships were based on sex alone, those
are boring. They were all multidimensional connections
that enriched my life. Even those who are no longer lovers
remain intimate friends. If you're looking for more
than one night with someone, I highly recommend taking
your time before the first date and still giving yourself
the option of a kind "no thank" at that first
meeting.
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