When Love Hurts.
How can a relationship be any better? I had my breakfast
ready for me when I got out of the shower - and my clothes were
ironed! I did not ask for this, it was just "to get my
day off to a good start". He would call me after my class
to see if I would be working or if I wanted to meet up. I was
pampered and spoiled. He was always there. Always.
And if he wasn't, he would ask. Continuously. He saw
things I didn't. Seems everyone wanted to sleep with
me, or I was trying to sleep with everyone - I never quite
figured out which was which. I just had to try harder, right?
There is only so much you can do together 24 - 7 for a week and
a half.
We broke up, citing that we needed some space. We stayed
friends.
We went to the bar - as friends, and had a few drinks. Ther
was someone who wanted to be with him hugging him, trying
to neck with him and all that. Whatever. Someone asked me
questions about the pool table. Guess that I had slept with
that person/wanted to sleep with them. Yaaah, that's
it.
I left and went for a drive with a friend of ours. We stopped
by his cousins place and went in. Guess who was there. I left.
He stopped me and pleaded as to why I wanted to hurt him so
bad. He started ranting about what a #%%& I was, and
how I dressed - he picked out my clothes, remember? I wasn't
about to stay and get yelled at - too cheap. As I was walking
out he asked who I was meeting to #%$%. I said that we had broken
up and I could do whoever I wanted to. I guess that I was "potentially"
who he could spend his life with. Not living this way. When
did things get this far off track?
I did emphasize that I was not with anybody. He had called
me often enough. No body else at the apartment, nobody else
answered the phone.
I turned to walk away. Bad move. A grab of my hair and some
stars.
I ended up with cracked and broken ribs, some cranial contusions
and boot imprints on my legs and chest - through my jacket
and jeans.
The crazy thing - if he showed up at the hospital and said
he was sorry? I probably would have left with him.
Scary.
Not now. I won't allow myself to be in that spot again.
I can't. And I may be still single, but I am working things
out, and I know that I am sooo much stronger and better for
it.
I would like to be in a relationship again, but not after
the first date. We both need to get to know each other.
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