Relationships and "the lifestyle"
Well, one thing is for sure, if you are a swinger and have
tried all different types of connecting with others who
are "like-minded" - you have probably run into
the same problem occuring - no matter what the venue....
Trust Issues.
Clearly, there is a new age of swingers coming out of the
closet. "Lifestylers" - (as they refer to themselves)
these days will always air on the side of caution over spontenaety.
This is because online chats are becomeing a mish-mash
of mixed intentions - false identities - and down right
rude outcomes. But not all lifestylers are this way - and
it seems - that people are swinging thier way toward more
private social clubs over chat.
Whether or not the club is in a bunsiness geared to the 'scene'
or if its a private inhome party - lifestylers have taken
it apon themselves to be the screeners to whom they connect
with. About 5 years or so ago, it used to be acceptable to
connect in a chat room and exchange a few pictures of one
another - then if everyone's chemistry was a match
- you met up - had a few drinks and that way (as they say) is
that. However, now as the world has evolved - so has the level
of "shading" - or posing as another to get whtever
it is that you seek. For most that practice it - it long ago
went far beyond the porn aspect of image arousal - now it
evolved into a "get the real deal" type of picture
theft. This in turn has led onliners to no longer be satisfied
with your picture being really "you" - it has
also evolved into camming. (Sending your internet web
cam live through a common connection to another person
- like MSN)
People have become very sceptical to the identities of
others through pictures - because of the endless images
you can obtain through online sources. So at this time for
most - its cam or be canned.
Now that we have all of that nonsense out of the way - let me
mention a few things about lifestyle relationships. If
I was to type a statement below can you tell what I meant by
the statement?
EG: "I didn't tell Bill you were stupid"
If I was to type that in a chat area - you could assume soo many
things based on which word in the statement you placed the
emphasis on. For example: I didn't TELL Bill you were
stupid (Meaning that I insinuated it) OR I didn't tell
BILL you were stupid ( Meaning I told Jim you were stupid)
Do you see what I am getting at here?.. Online yext chatting
is just that.. Unemotional - unintentional - unmotivated
chat text. However, people have become practically obsessed
with placing meaning and emotions to text that has none
- and you really have no grounds to which you can place emotion
and intention to it - so things tend to get mixed and wires
of communications get scrambled ... connections that
would have otherwise in person develop - turn sour and lost.
All because you read into a phrase incorrectly. Or perhapse
it is because of our own foolish pride keeping us from asking
for clarification for fear of appearing stupid or unwise.
Whatever the reason - chat text is responsible for the loss
of many connections made online simply over misunderstandings.
So in closing, when you meet up with someone online. Pay
the text as little regard to its intention over its content.
If you are unsure - wouldn't it be better to sound intelligent
by asking great questions - over appearing a fool because
of a misunderstanding that could have been avoided or clarified?
Remember, people are suckers for popularity, make them
feel popular by staying in touch with them - tell them that
you enjoy thier conversations - and whenever possible
- leave the chat text for smaller comversations and go to
a familiar voice telephone call if the 'comfort and
familiar levels' are reached. If not, try to aviod
spelling and grammar errors - as you seen above in the statemtent
I wrote - people can easily become confused or loose track
of what you are intending or wanting out of the connection.
Probably the most important piece of information - be yourself
- have fun - and try to be as honest as you can with the exception
of really private aspects of your life. There are stalkers,
criminals, creeps, and sexual offenders out there who
prey on the more gullable and easily swayed. Give someone
the benefit of the doublt - but whenever possible - ask questions
geared to receiveing truthful answers based on what you
know to be the truth. There's no harm in testing others
to see if they are on the same track as you. Just exercise
good judgement no matter how great the person on the other
side appears
As a rule for lifestylers - it seems to be the common denominator
to connect in a chatroom to discuss casually - exchange
email addresses should a common preference be found then
chat through MSN or Yahoo to guage further - then exchange
pictures or cam to see if the physical attraction is there
- then discuss safety and factors of intimacy (like-mindedness)
- then usually a "no-strings meet N greet" in
a public place to see if your characters and mentalities
match. After that .. use your imaginations..
Maybe in the near future, you will be seeing alot more vid
cam chat areas - maybe something more social and public.
Already in major cities across Canada and the USA, there
are lifestyle clubs cropping up to feed the masses who are
emerging from thier closets. Just remember this simple
rule - until you get to know the people you meet "well"
- for each level of connection obtained - increase your
personal security and cautions accordingly.
We hope that this has met you well - and that the lifestlye
you are living (whatever that may be) is giving you all the
happiness, safety, and pleasure you deserve.
Thanks for reading.
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