Sheep -- very Baaaad....
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when
suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards
him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes,
Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and
asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many
sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then
looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers,
"Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on
the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation
system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds
to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe
Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility
in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email
on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the
data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected
Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas.
He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry
and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on
his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally
turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly
1586 sheep."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one
of my sheep" says the
shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals
and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk
of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I
can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give
me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says,
"Okay, why not?"
"You're a consultant" says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct, " says the yuppie,
"but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required" answered the shepherd.
"You showed up here even though nobody called you;
you want to get paid for an answer I already knew to a question
I never asked; and you don't know crap about my business.
Now give me back my dog."
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