Bi-Sexuality
I am a bisexual man, but I lean more towards being gay. There
has been a lot of confusion in my life from very early on.
Growing up, I was pretty much a mamma's boy. I was barely
allowed to date at all and when I did have dates, they were
always supervised. I got out of the house by joining the
Navy at the age of 17. At this point in my life, sex with a man
had never crossed my mind.
My first sexual experience turned out to be with a man though
(A blow job). I went to a park that, during the day was a family
park, but unknown to me, at night, it was a spot where gay
men gathered, looking for sex. During the day, I was there
goofing off and I decided to take a walk in the canyon along
a well marked path. I got a little tired and decided to take
a rest on a bench that I came across.
I balled up my jacket and used it for a pillow and quickly
fell asleep. When I woke up, it was dark and I felt like I was
about to have an orgasm. Well, feeling like an embarresed
little kid, I went to grab for it to try to hold it in while
I opened my pants and let it go on the ground. To my shock and
amazement there was a head in my crotch. A head with long
curly hair. Not knowing what else to do, I laid back and let
go.
When this person was finished with what they were doing
and they were satisfied that I was cleaned up and pants buttoned,
they stood up and started to walk away. I lay there on the
bench, somewhat dumbfounded. When the person got about
ten feet away, they stopped, turned around and in a very
deep, masculine voice said "Thank You.". I
lost my virginity to a strange man in a park.
I tried not to let it bother me that my first sexual experience
was with a man. I tried to date women, but had very little
luck. For some reason, women seemed to like me and want me
as a friend, but sex was out of the question. I was quite distressed
by this turn of events, but I didn't give up. I had my
first sexual experience with a woman when I was 18 and it
was quite a pleasing one at that, but then I screwed it up
and she dumped me like a hot potato.
Well, I got very upset With What had happened and decided
to go back to that same park to see if I could "Make"
the same thing happen that occured the last time I was there.
I found it very easy to get a multitude of men that wanted
to please me orally.
I started to think about the way things had gone in my life
and figured well, if I can't sex from a woman, apparently,
there are a lot of men out there who will give me what I want.
I also thought that as long as I didn't touch the men
in anyway, I wasn't gay.
I continued going to the park and also found a few other places
to go when I felt I needed the release, but I still wasn't
ready to give up on women.
I'm 41 now and I'm not going to tell you about all
the men and women I have been with, but I would like to sum
up my sex life and get some feedback on what other people
think.
I have had a few relationships with both men and women. I
have discovered that one thing is for sure, I love sex, period.
Whether it is with a man or a woman.
I am much more open sexually with men than I used to be. As
a matter of fact, now, with men, I am a total bottom. I love
both oral and anal sex.
What confuses me is this. All my life, women have treated
me the way they always accuse men of being. It seems that
they use me for what they can get out of me and then dump me
like a used, dirty diaper. Men on the other hand, it seems
want to keep me around, in a more relationship oriented
situation. Now I'm not gonna say that the men in my life
haven't used me, on the contrary, they have. My first
real relationship with a man lasted 15 years. After it was
over, I found out that he was just keeping me around because
he knew that I was being monogamous, but in the meantime
he was going out and playing with everyone he could find
and believe me, he was a very sexy guy and I'm sure that
just about anyone he asked, went with him.
Currently, I'm involved in a very open, gay relationship.
We play together and seperately. We will play together
with men. I play with both men and women and he plays with
strictly men and no matter what, we always play safely.
Are there any women out there who are willing to try and change
my opinion of women in general?
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