Unconditional Love
Pathway to Unconditional Love:
Having sex vs. making love? Can you have one without the
other, or both?
We start out life having unconditional Love. That beautiful
knowledge that regardless of physical, mental or emotional
attributes you know you are in love and are loved. Guess
that's why we spend 18-20+ years with our families,
learning those different things we do and yet they still
love us and we them.
Then we bring a new, non family member, a person of the opposite
sex into our life, thinking they too should exhibit unconditional
love. Yet this is so flawed because it is conditional stimulus
that brings us together. We don't have the relationship
longevity so those "little" things are overlooked.
So there's an immediate selection process; yes, this
is good, no I can't accept that.
We go through this process over and over, thinking it will
get better and more conditions become acceptable to the
point we are accepting a relationship, or two. We search
for love as we knew, unconditional love that was there all
along. It's everything but sexual, while our unconditional
love affairs are more heavily weighted towards initial
sexual desires.
As parents we teach our children that we will always love
them. We may not approve of what they do, say, act out, etc.
But we will always be there for them because our love is unconditional.
Is that what we go through life for? Finding in another person
that belief of unconditional love? Yet over time we have
been hurt, trust has been lost, we've given too much
to someone who abused that gift. Of course our defenses
are UP and we hold back in areas we once shared and trusted
to some previous "love" interest.
So the search for unconditional love continues. Only now
we have placed obstacles in it's way. Our unconditional
love has to pass through a series of innate conditions,
like a firewall on your computer.
What's it all come down to? Knowing that happiness
begins from within is the first step. How can you love someone
unconditionally when you have not taken those steps to
unconditionally love yourself? Then the next part is harder.
We have to decide if this next relationship is part of the
transitional aspect of getting to that person you love
unconditionally, or is this the one. Only you can make yourself
happy. You have to be open to accept "happy"
stimuli. Is happiness great sex? Conditional isn't
it. When the sex is gone you are back to those unconditional
love support systems you've learned since you could
remember and before you ventured out where unconditional
love is a given. This is where there is strength in unconditional
love. Sex is the attractant, removing conditions afterwards
becomes the internal focus. We transition through conditional
love by removing those mental conditions, opening those
mental roadblocks to achieve unconditional love. Most
relationships end because the partners added more and
more conditions.
Great sex can help you transition; just don't get bogged
down in the transition before reaching that ultimate destination
of unconditional, forever love. Be open to removing conditions,
removing those masks in your life that allow you to hide
feelings. Fear of being hurt, again, deeper, and deeper,
keeps this from happening. Fear is a learned emotion. Unlearn
fear to get unconditional love. "What if I get hurt
again?" Then that's a transitional "love",
one more lesson on the way to finding what you really want,
what/who you really need. Allow yourself to go find another.
Don't mourn that lost transitional relationship.
Celebrate that you are closer to finding who you are and
who you want as your unconditional lover.
Now is the time to make those decisions, to peer over the
walls of conditions, letting each fall as that fear is removed.
Clear the heart and mind to allow unconditional love to
once again take root.
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